That One Week in French Polynesia
by lastknownwriter
Summary: A Dean/Cas Six Days/Seven Nights movie AU. Island pilot Castiel agrees to fly magazine editor Dean to Papeete. Unfortunately they crash. Lusty adventure ensues. (Note: This fic will make the most sense if you've seen the movie 6 Days, 7 Nights.)


**_May 20_**

_I'm writing this from the tarmac while I wait for that pansyass cocktease Dean Winchester to show. I'm flying him back to Papeete for one night so he can oversee a fashion shoot or some such bullshit. I negotiated an entirely fair price (double my usual rate.)_

_Joke's on him. I was going anyway._

_ps. I consider that extra $350 a tip for being a jackass last night in the bar. For the record, __**he was totally coming on to me. **__ I don't care what he says to help himself sleep at night._

_Also. His girlfriend is a looker. But obviously not his type. Her boobs aren't big enough and she seemed to be fairly intelligent._

**_May 20_**

_Pansyass arrived. And only ten minutes late. I'm making him nervous writing in my journal while piloting the plane. 'Oh my, is that a little air pocket there? Wheee!'_

_I could have some serious fun with this. He hates flying. Pussy._

_He edits the magazine 'Cheap Thrills'. Apparently it's all about vintage and retro goods (clothes, cars, home)._

_I'm strangely intrigued by this, but I refuse to give him the satisfaction of asking for more details._

_Note to self: Look for Cheap Thrills in Papeete on the newsstand. Could be useful for my dream shop on Makatea._

**_May 21_**

_Mother of fucking God we crashed. Goddamn lightening storm over the goddamn middle of nowhere ocean. Fuck if I know where we're at._

_When Cheap Thrills wakes up I'll tell him we're on that one island with the peninsula and the locator beacon._

_I should probably look that up on my map so I get the name right._

_I wish I'd packed instant coffee._

**_May 21_**

_Dean's awake._

_I wish I'd packed more whiskey._

**_May 21_**

_I wish I had more than one flare. I could use one to shoot Dean in his gigantic cakehole piehole and use the other to signal the rescue plane._

_Assuming a rescue plane ever gets close enough to see us._

_Debatable._

_Fuck me. I might be deserted on this island with Dean for a long, long, LONG LONG LOONNNGGG time. _

_Maybe I'll just use the flare on myself._

**_May 21_**

_Dean's afraid of pigs._

**_May 21_**

_Dean's afraid of snakes._

**_May 21_**

_I'm clearly delirious from hunger and thirst. I'm going to hunt peacock for dinner so as to evade temptation of another sort altogether._

_Dean's eyes are very green._

_Fuck my life._

**_May 21_**

_Dean's fiancée's name is Anna and he doesn't love her. He didn't say this in so many words, but his brow creases into this charming little eleven when he talks about her and he chews on the side of his lip. Like he's worried he's making the biggest mistake of his life. (He is.)_

_He also has a little brother named Sammy who's at Stanford studying to be a lawyer. Dean worked three jobs from the time he was fourteen to pay for Sam's education._

_Jesus Christ his mouth is pretty._

**_May 21_**

_Peacock tastes just like chicken._

**_May 21_**

_I'm drunk off my ass and had to 'beat' a hasty retreat earlier into the jungle (pun intended)._

_Dean's eyes are greener in the moonlight and his smile wider, softer when he's drunk._

_He fell against me in the ocean earlier, which (of course) initiated a boner of epic proportions. What can I say? I'm somewhat easy. And Dean's gorgeous. And he was wet. And drunk. And licking his goddamn motherfucking lips like he wanted to taste me._

_Sonofabitch. I'm going to have to go back into the jungle._

_brb._

**_May 21 22_**

_After midnight now. Dean's asleep._

_My cock is sore._

_Apparently I had some incredibly fine-grained sand on my palm._

_Shut up._

**_May 22_**

_SONOFAFUCKINGBITCH I'M GOING TO KILL HIM._

**_May 22_**

_I can no longer shoot myself (or Dean) with the last flare._

_The dumbass shot a coconut tree with it._

_We're fucked._

**_May 22_**

_I made Dean carry the heavier pack up the mountain._

_His ass is FINE._

**_May 22_**

_Jig's up. Dean knows what a peninsula is. (and that this island ain't got one)_

**_May 22_**

_Boat._

_Long-ass-away-down-the-mountain-and-across-the-isl and BOAT._

_Wonder if Dean would mind if I sucked him off real quick before we reverse our trek._

_Probably. Idiot is still worried about getting back to his precious ANNA._

_FML._

**_May 23_**

_My goddamn arms are killing me. I'm making Dean row now. I also made him take his shirt off. I told him if he tied it around his forehead to keep the sun off his head, he would stay cooler._

_LMFAO._

_I just wanted to watch his chest ripple while he rowed._

_Maybe he'll burn and I can rub some cream on him later. For medicinal purposes. Of course._

_He freckles._

_Wonder if he's ever sunbathed nude. There could be freckles in some interesting places._

_OMG. Why the fuck didn't I insist we save our clothes for oh, longevity, like, YESTERDAY? I could have been cataloguing naked Dean Winchester's cock freckles ALL DAY._

_ps. Oh if only I could get my mouth on him now... Waves sloshing over the side, gentle rocking of the raft. That would be one epic BJ. Fucker doesn't know what he's missing._

_Damn._

_Boner._

**_May 23_**

_Fucking pirates._

**_May 23_**

_So this island is riddled with sinkholes._

_Dean hates scorpions._

**_May 23_**

_Dean tastes like cherry lifesavers._

**_May 23_**

_Note to self: Don't think I'll forget the fucker's been holding out on me with the lifesavers._

_His tongue is wicked strong._

_Shit. Boner._

**_May 23 24_**

_Chances we can evade the pirates (who Cheap Thrills told we were gay married jewelry designers with an assload of gold and 'precious gems' on board our private yacht) are practically nil._

_However, the WWII biplane in the tree overhead has some promising features. I'm going to harvest what I can in the a.m._

_Dean's asleep next to me and he's basically a human furnace._

_I'm imagining that body heat on a cold, winter's night._

_Sometimes I miss winter._

_When I told him we should sleep naked he laughed. And then he kissed me and arranged me how he wanted so he could use my arm for a pillow._

_Asshole._

_Goddamn he's adorable._

_I might have my left hand in a semi-inappropriate place._

_But I'm 'sleeping'. So it's clearly unintentional._

_I'm inordinately happy that he told someone we were gay lovers._

_What is my life?_

**_May 24_**

_Dean split the last cherry lifesaver with me in lieu of brushing our teeth._

_Then he kissed the motherfucking hell out of me._

_I'm ashamed to admit he had to pry my hand out of the back of his shorts._

_It's hard to climb a tree when your cock is at full attention._

_Just sayin._

**_May 24_**

_Me and my bright ideas._

_Waterfalls suck._

_I've got bruises on top of my bruises._

_Dean banged his head on a rock and I got to bandage it when we got back to the plane. This ultimately led to a little one on one horizontal rutting time before we had to start work on the repairs._

_Fucking pirates._

_If Dean ever gets his hands on my actual, real life, legitimate bare cock, I'm going to die. This is not an exaggeration, it's a scientific fact. Go ahead and note it on my death certificate. Cause of Death: Dean Winchester_

**_May 25_**

_ANNA._

_If I say write her name enough, maybe I'll remember the simple fact that Dean is engaged and therefore unavailable._

_This beach is dusty. That's all._

**_May 25_**

_Fucking pirates._

**_May 25_**

_This is Dean. I don't know if we'll survive this or go down in flames in the ocean, but Cas has been injured and I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. I hate planes. I sure as hell don't know how to land one. Right now we're just cruising, I think you call it. Fuck me. Cas is passed out beside me and now seemed as good a time as any to write my final words and last goodbyes._

_Sammy, I love you. You've always made me proud. You will always make me proud. I'll be with you forever._

_Anna, I'm sorry. I never should have let it get this far. I thought I could pretend, be the man you needed me to be. But I can't. In a weirdly fitting way, this is the best thing that could have happened to us. Go, be happy. Find someone who will love you the way you deserve to be loved._

_Cas, In the five days I've known you, I've wanted to kill you 101 different times in almost as many ways. But mostly I've wanted to fuck your brains out. You're the most frustrating, intelligent, smartassed, blazing hottest thing I've ever seen, and if we get out of this alive, I'm gay-marrying your crabby, whining, complaining ass toot suite._

_And then I'm going to suck your brain out through your cock._

_I love you._

**_May 26_**

_Morphine is my friend._

_I've reread Dean's entry a million times._

_There's a drop of blood on the page and by God if that's Dean's and he's been hurt, I'll kill someone. Probably me, since I'm 100% responsible. _

**_May 26_**

_Morphine wore off._

_Dean just left. The thought of that beautiful, amazing spirit, so smart, so driven, who's given up everything for his brother, throwing away the rest of his life to live in a ratty ass hut on the beach in French Polynesia with me...well. It's more than I can bear. More than I can accept._

_I don't deserve that._

_Or Dean deserves more._

_God, I love him._

_I need a drink._

**_May 27_**

_Dean's flight leaves in fifteen minutes and this motherfucking truck won't go any faster._

_I'm a fucking idiot._

**_May 27_**

_Too late. Plane's gone._

**_May 27_**

_Jesus fucking Christ Dean's tongue is strong._

_He practically got us arrested on the tarmac when he held up the NY flight._

_I'm having a heart attack._

**_May 28_**

_This is Dean. Cas' brain did not, in point of fact, get sucked out through his pretty cock._

_But not for lack of trying._

_fin._


End file.
